Page 56 - 1918 VES Meteor

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She: Whardoc>s R. 0. T. C. tliNln on thar sohli('r':; collar~
He: Why-er- Rotary Cluh.
Pat was on a siukiug ship uu~l was "·atehiug \rith interest the frantic passengers grabbing life prc>sern:rs, putting them on, ancl jumping O\'erhoanl. '·Shure," said he. '·if e,·eryhody is stealing I can too." Immediately he picked up a hea''Y piece of iron and jumpc>tl o,·crboard with it.
:Mr. Gerould (hearing of Smith's ability to play left field) : Go on out iu left and ca~ch flies.
)[r. Gerould (half an honr later): Thought I told yon to go in left field? IIa,·en't you C\·er played before~
Smith: Yes, sir; but where is left field in these grounds?
::Jir. Tucker is going in the Sig11al Corps as a "·irl.'less ariel.
1
The Kaiser (as he faced the final punishment) : :J[y one regret is that I didn't ba,·c another million liYes to offer for my country.
Lr:TTEH FJ:O)[ .\ SoLDIER
The sweater that .'·on k11it, dear hPnrt. I'm usiug it each day;
I hang it up beside the trench To scare the cooties away.
"Do you study the bill of fare to s€'e what ~·ot~ are getting to eat?"
"No, I study the almanac."
,.., Jack: ·what nrc those pedals under the org<1ll usl.'!l for? :Jir. Hnrri!:>: Those arc footnotes.