Page 12 - 90-94 Meteor

4 THE METEOR
ISSUE 1, FALL 1990
Profile of a New Teacher--------------------------------------
by C. S. Morris
Who is this man whom we see walking the grounds of V.E.S. and making announcements for outdoor experiences?
Mr. Nielson graciously con- sented to be interviewed in the hope that those of us who do not yet know him may catch up with the rest of the community with the aid of a few facts:
Question: Where did you go to college, and what degrees have you received? Where did you spend most of you life?
Answer: I received a BA in history from Amherst College in Massachusetts and a Masters degree in math from Wesleyan University in Connecticut. I have spent most of my life in Connecticut.
Question: How many years have you been teaching? Why do you enjoy teaching?
Answer: I have been teaching for seventeen years. I have taught at two boarding schools in Connecticut and most recent- ly one in England. The most fulfilling thing about working with young people is their pro- mise. I want to draw the best out of the people I meet and want them to think of me as a friend- ly a nd outgoing person who sees the importance of accountabili- ty and standards.
Question : What are your favorite sports a nd outside
interests?
Answer: I am interested in
college football and most of the professional sports. I love the outdoors and enjoy hiking and camping as well as taking pic- tures. I also enjoy soccer and have been a soccer coach for both boys and girls for seven- teen years. I think sports are emphasized more at V.E.S. than they were at my previous schools. I also enjoy classical and country music. I enjoy traveling and have had the op- portunity to climb Mt. Kiliman- jaro in Tanzania and other mountains in India and Nepal.
Question: What do you think of the students on your dorm and who do you think will get in trou- ble later in life?
Answer: I think they're a good bunch of people who have a nice unity. They look out for one another, and I especially like how the seniors have helped the underclassman. With my usual sense of humor, I see Zach Sizer as the first to be put in jail and the first to find an inventive way out.
Question: I f you were strand- ed on a deserted island what would you want to have with you aside form survival essentials such as water and food?
Answer: I would want to have photographs of people to whom I am close.
Photo by Bridge Littleton
Don't You Hate It When. • • by David McDonald and Carson Ham
--A teacher gives you a 70 and says "Good work!?"
--You hear those fateful words in chapel "Are there announce-
ments?...Mr. McCormick?"
--Somebody copies your homework and gets a better grade than you?
--You have to puke up a lung everyday just to get excused from sports?
--Faculty dogs are 'walked' on your breakfast route?
--Your roommate uses your new compact disc for an ashtray?
--You catch your old man tuning in to "Sesame St." for his own enrichment?
--The Dean of students says rolling the campus is definately out of the question, when your class has just stashed $250 worth of Charmin?
--You run into festive teachers at the Texas Inn?
--One of your buddies asks your girlfriend for a dip?
--You scrape yourself off of the mattress and sprint to breakfast at 7:31a.m., only to discover that it is Saturday?
- A teacher says that if your brain were rolled down a razor blade, it would look like a b.b. on I-95?
--Your missing can of Skoal appears in your tape case just as you are loaning Dean Lauder a copy of "Bach Rocks?"
A Fictitious Exchange by Justin VanWie and David Long
It has come to our attention that certain faculty members may experience occasional lapses into Napoleonic fantasies. To illustrate the pitfalls of such a tendency, we have created a little drama with fictitious characters based on composites of familiar figures in the VES community.
We will call our faculty representative Cornelius and Jet the unassuming student be nam- ed Phineas.
Phineas is spending study hall playing game-boy in his room , when Cornelius senses from his post in the hallway that something is not right.
Cornelius springs across the threshold shouting "Give me that widiculous toy and start do- ing some homework, you ham- mewhead! !" in a voice vaguely reminiscent of Saturday morn- ings spent with Elmer Fudd.
Phineas, surprised by this out- burst, retaliates with a whiplash retort that draws laughter from several of the adjacent rooms.
Sensing that he is fast becom- ing the center of the ''Tom Foolery," Cornelius plays his ace: "demmmewitts!!"
Phineas immediately grasps that to fence with Cornelius any longer would result in his being overrun by an overwhelming "conquest" of disciplinary reports, so he suppresses his naturally defensive impulses in silence.
Cornelius marches out feeling a mixture of anger and satisfac- tion. Meanwhile, Phineas and several peers gather and discuss possible ways to specifically in- clude Cornelius in the upcoming senior prank.
The moral of this factitious but representative drama should be obvious : We must, each of us, curb our impulses to vent unrelated feelings and im- pulses on each other. Temperance should guide us through all of our encounters.