8
I am an alumnus, a former trustee, the parent of a
daughter who graduated with the Form of 2014,
and the father of a new Fourth Form son. As
such, I have a long, deep, and very personal
history with St. Paul’s School.
As a student, my relationship with
SPS was a balance between love and
hate – and probably more the latter than
the former, if I’m being honest. For the
first year and half, I cried myself to sleep
on many nights. I wasn’t sure I really fit into
the prep-school scene. I loved my home state
of Montana and was more
“Levi-jean redneck” than “lime-
green preppie.” But, sparing all the
personal trials and tribulations
of my teenage years and my
evolution from boyhood to adult-
hood at boarding school, suffice it
to say that SPS became a huge part
of who I am. Despite my homesick-
ness and struggle to belong, the
School found its way into my soul.
As a trustee, I served on the board
during an era of
Wall Street Jour-
nal
,
New York Times
, and
Vanity
Fair
articles. I became aware of
many of the intimate details of
St. Paul’s that one neither has a
chance to see nor understand as a
student. I also learned much more
about the “business” of St. Paul’s.
While I clearly saw firsthand that
everything is not perfect at the School – name one place
that
is
perfect – I simultaneously witnessed much of what
is extraordinary about St. Paul’s.
Then, when I was in the midst of seeing the School
through that new lens, I became the parent of a daughter
at SPS. I viewed SPS through her eyes until she graduated
in 2014. Presently, I am the parent of a gay son who
just entered the Fourth Form. With this background, I
recognize I may have a different perspective than many
other parents and alumni. However, given the events
that have unfolded since my daughter graduated, I want
to share my perspective as a parent who also has a child
currently enrolled.
First and most importantly: In the hands of SPS, I do
not worry about the safety of my child at all.
What I do worry about is that the School will overreact
when making changes to its culture, curriculum, and
community, making life far too restrictive for current
and future students. I fear a St. Paul’s that becomes
consumed by the events of the spring of 2014 and the
Labrie trial of this past summer; so consumed that
the issues surrounding this event
become such oppressive topics
of conversation and debate that
other important lessons and
experiences get lost in the shuffle.
The vast majority of kids at SPS
are wonderful, caring, responsible
human beings. They should not be
expected to remedy the actions and
events that came before them. I
want my son to have a positive, fun,
educational, dynamic, wonderful,
exciting experience; not one mired
in discussions about trials, sex, rape,
and surrounding issues.
I know there are lessons for all
to learn here, and I want my son to
learn those lessons, but I also do not
want that to define his entire exper-
ience over the next three years. I
want him to row, play on the Chapel
lawn, study hard, sing in the Choir, swim in the pond,
enjoy dances, and hang out in the dorm on Saturday
nights. I want him to go on dates, make lots of friends,
live and learn in the beautiful surroundings of SPS – be
a kid.
St. Paul’s is an amazing place. It needs to learn from
past experiences, but it also must move forward and get
back to all the many things that allow an SPS education
to get into one’s soul.
FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH
Eric Jacobsen ’83, P’14,’18
“
What I do worry
about is that the
School will overreact
when making
changes to its
culture, curriculum,
and community,
making life far too
restrictive for current
and future students.
”
