2
An Understanding of One for Another
The idea of empathy
has been much on
my mind of late as it
applies to our lives
here at St. Paul’s.
Understanding an-
other’s perspective
is a precondition for
our effective teaching
of the young people in
our care. Knowing and respecting them as human
beings, in this incredibly rich period of their ex-
perience as learners, is the key to our success in
teaching them lessons, both small and large, in the
classroom and in their larger lives.
Earlier this fall, I had the opportunity to hear a
talk by Azar Nafisi, an Iranian expatriate author,
best known for her memoir
Reading Lolita in Tehran
.
Nafisi spoke powerfully about her latest work,
The
Republic of Imagination: America in Three Books
.
What I particularly noted was her perspective about
being an
intentional
American. Nafisi is a U.S. citi-
zen not by birth but by choice – in her case, a very
thoughtful choice. As one with the opportunity to
observe our country first from a distance and then
from inside, Nafisi has remarked that the strength
of the United States does not reside so much in
the enduring mythology of the rugged, aggressive
individual, but rather, to use her words, that “the
nation’s strength was in its mandate to transcend
ourselves to serve each other” – that we are an
empathetic
nation.
I would like to think that Nafisi’s idea applies
seamlessly to St. Paul’s School. Empathy is the
foundation of our mission as we strive to encour-
age our students – and ourselves as adults – in the
service of others.
As you probably know, empathy is a difficult ethical
trait or social skill to foster in adolescents as they
work to find themselves and their place in the world.
Conventional developmental psychology tells us that
high-school-aged students are more concerned with
understanding themselves than with looking through
the eyes of others.
What I have noticed during this Fall Term is that
this assumption about adolescents simply hasn’t held.
Is this year different from others, or am I looking
more closely with a focus on the concept of empathy?
In just the first six weeks of the year, I have seen how
our students have been remarkably open to under-
standing the perspectives of others – as St. Francis
put it, “seeking not so much to be understood as to
understand.” Even more encouraging is that they
have translated this concept into action.
During the first day of school, students named
the values by which they aspire to live this year.
Then, members of one club established a continuing
dialogue about how boys and girls experience the
School differently and how gender-based social
norms are created and maintained at the School –
and that to recognize those norms is to begin chang-
ing them toward healthier relationships. One group
of students has created a Community Pledge – a
document that has inspired healthy dialogue about
respecting others and our accountability to one
another as members of this community.
In our opening convocation, we heard the familiar
tale of the Good Samaritan, the archetypal Christ-
ian story of actively doing the right thing when
doing nothing is often the easier course. The Good
Samaritan is an early example of empathy by one
who not only understands the right thing to do,
but has the courage to
do
it. It is a story about
empathy, about looking beyond one’s own needs,
and about how kindness means stopping in our
constant hurry and taking the time to try easing
someone else’s burden.
I invited all students and adults that day to re-
commit to living the values we promise each other
in the Honor Code and in the School Prayer and to
consider how each of us can make this great school
even better, a place where our greatest success comes
from the good we strive to do for others.
With the guidance of adults and the support of
each other, our students will continue to develop
an understanding of one for another, and of living
more than ever within the foundational purpose of
our school.
Michael G. Hirschfeld ’85
RECTOR
LOUIS H. FOISY
