Page 53 - 1946 VES Meteor

Through The Telescope
By The Old Astrologer
Attention Mr. and Mrs. North and South Mars and all rockets at Radio Center. The Astrologer has just landed on earth. We quote his state- ment to the students of this humble
• institution, quote, "Hello suckers, " unquote.
The astrologer spent a most en- joyable summer on Jupiter especial- ly during those good old Saturn-day nights. He also acquired a Ph. D. in Astrology by reading and under standing "Highroads of the Uni- verse. "
During the first studies of the heavens several new meteors have been enlivening the skies. W e sec "Adam Lazonga" Maddux, the world's slickest operator. They have a Holladay on Second W est now and in his honor have put up a "Ski- jump" to keep the Holladay in good spirits. In the northern skies we see that the Vermont cult of the Baptist Railway Express is minus a leader due to heavy shipping prospects predict- ed in that one state where it rains
13 (astrologer's dozen) hours out of a day. Cohorts have been brought up from surrounding monasteries to aid him in his work. All Meterorites, keep in the right orbit. Although an arc is the shortest distance between two points, straight is the best way to go.
Although his star was once bril- liant ye ole astroloqer predicts the Colonel (Admiral when it's raining) won't accomplish two things this rea- son, those being telling the W arren twins apart and getting married. Remington Arms stock dropped dras- tically when all the "bullets" started arriving from Altavista. Must be from a Thompson gun. Comet Car- penter has put taxi meters on the study hall seats. He reads the totals in demerits. The astrologer is very grateful to the "circus" for clearing the sky of smoke, to Windflute Mas- sie for polishing up the lenses of his last visit, to Guru's solid class for all the astronomical figures, to Capt. Garnett for a golf ball to use as a moon in the planetarium, and to Haywood for exhuming last year's astrologer.
Copernicus and Galilee are calling; so until next time, Merry Mercury and Happy Light Year.
Astronomical Calendar
September I0- AII but a few ar rive on time, with even more than the usual number of delegates from Carolina. Changes in faculty and liv- ing arrangements make the first day interesting to new and old boys alike.
September I!-Numerous vacan- cies on the waiting staff are filled as our attractive new dietitian is dis covered.
September 12-Various new mem bers of the school view with anxiety the radiators and laundry chute for which they unwittingly paid "rental " .
September 13- Football is in full swing and the boys get a good workout. "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."
September 14-Seniors begin to understand the traditional gripe about "Solid" and dig in for some real work.
September 15-"West' is put in the ice box for safe keeping while every one enjoys a first, and in some cases a last, Saturday night trip to town.
September 18 Louis and Mau- riello fight for the title and money is drawn across the boards. Stu dents are all shocked by Mauriello's language after the fight.
September 1 9 -"Jackie" Carpen - ter is visited by a young lady on
People In The Public Eye Carpenter (Jackie) Going power-
mad and smashing the boys on Shorf with columns.
Daniel (Pro) Getting sore at Mar- gie for talking about food and diets on their dates. Uh-huh!!
Dawson (Booger Jr.) Using the DDT gun on the truck seat vacated last June by the contaminated one.
Duffey (Goldy) Reporting for track in condition after a " pledgeful summer.
Haywood (Marsh) Beholding an- other oddity of Haywood and keep- ing them in parentheses.
Heth (Don Juan) Getting the fuzzy doughnut at R.-M. W. C.
Hyre (John) Getting mighty smooth with some recently discov- ered playmates in Peakland.
Lewis, C. (Incognito) Ex. E. H. S., doomed to live another year with on old E. H. S. pal, " Radar-Man."
Nutt, R. (Goose) Having the doubtful honor of being president of the A. B. C. for '46.
Ogden (Egg-head) Hoving a hard time with "the Marsh" and " Swine" on First W est.
Smith (Stan) Greeting the boys in a strange new voice.
Springs (Eli) Showing great will power and quitting football to par- take of the filthy weed.
Thomas, G . (Dimples) Helping John out in Peakland.
Whitaker (Sweets) Upholding the standards of the "dancing cowboys" of Philadelphia.
810-X-RA Y
Thomas H. Maddux
Born : No, hatched!
Home: Marshall, Va.
Usually seen: Working for Margie. Favorite pastime: Going to Ran-
dolph-Macon with "Don Juan" Heth and "Moon" Bailey.
Pet Love: Two straight classes un-- der the "Exalted One."
Ambition: To learn to fly.
Sparetime Occupation: Keeping his women at R.-M. W . C. straight.
"Tuck", an ex-G.I. and old V. E. $. boy, returned this year to take up where he left off. He is not only pick- ing up his former studies, but also his duties as a counselor and as a main stay on the football team.
THE METEOR
9
METEORITES
horseback. (Twelve years young September 20- "lf you don 't
) l;ke
this-you don't like football." September 22 - "Lover Drew" Ramsey sports a lovely female com - panion on Saturday night, "Wanna
meet my gal?"
September 23-rte:ld Marshal von
Follett finds a strategic array of trunks surrounding his quarters, and retreats for the duration of the night.
September 27- " Footsie" Gower burns the midnight oil and Mr. Hol- laday burns Footsie."
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