Page 33 - 1948 VES Meteor

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People in the Public Eye
Carty (Follett, Jr.): "I was struck by the beauty of her hand. I tried to kiss her. As I said, I was struck by the beauty of her hand."
Follett (Ole John D.): "A woman is as old as she looks, but a man is old when he stops looking."
Gower (Crash!), at pay phone: "Num- ber, heck, I want my peanuts."
Lewis, F. and Gower:
''We're broom mates
We sweep together
METEORITES
Through The Telescope
By the old Astrologer
Crash! . . . The old astrologer bounced out of bed with alarm. One of the windows had been smashed on his dome, and his telescope was shat- tered. With a sigh of regret the star- gazer realized spring was here, and his long winter sleep was over.
Yes, in spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to baseball. Down on the diamond the boys were keeping th e school in turmoil by constantly hitting balls into the belltower. Coach Phelps seemed satisfied only with the boys' ability to steal bases. Stephen- son, the "Trusty" manager, nearly stole the home plate. Davis was real- ly putting the boys out. If he couldn't strike them out, he just knocked 'em out.
By lowering his 'scope a few de- grees the old man picked up a few more sta rs. Down on Johnson "La ke" the track boys were pounding away. The distance group was led by Hast- ings with a record-breaking two hours, twelve minutes, and ten seconds on the mile swim. The hurdles are being taken care of by Paul Taylor, Hal Jackson, and Charlie Lewis. (They've smashed two already, but the hurdles are fighting back. One caught Lew- is's leg.) Hurdling Hal, the Colonial Cobweb (Rockerfeller's boy), and "Mole" Taylor are just learning. They're really good at going through those things. The hundred-inch crawl looks promising as V. E. S. boys are noted for their "speed."
The finer things in life, namely girls, are also being taken care of by the boys. Sadie Hawkins Day must be an all year event around school, as many of the boys have found out. Few have managed to escape the "Plague."
Ending the day by sweeping the heavens with his trusty lenses, the old man concludes by saying that "it
might rain sometime soon." Then, overcome with that dread disease, spring fever, the astrologer crawls back into bed just as another baseball heads his way ... Crash!
Astronomical Calendar
Feb. 1 2 - Study hall disturbed by Chief and his girl friend. (Whoopee dog!)
Guru goes wild as Bar-bells sells pictures of dance at printing price.
Feb. 13-W eaver buys some dehy- drated water pills.
Feb. 1 6 - Second and third W est have a grapefruit throwing con- test-Maggie lost!
Feb. 1 8 - Barnum's boys become bored by basketball.
Feb. 19-Nixon's expedition equip- ment arrives for his journey through the wilds of N. C. (i. e., pogo-stick and absorbine, jr.).
Miss Sanders has Maddux hanging by her apron strings (net result: I demerit).
Feb. 20-Snow- "If winter comes, can spring be far behind?"
Feb. 21-·Hell, yes!
Feb. 22-E. H. S. game. Guru takes
Carty out for spilling blood on the
floor.
Feb. 24-Moon tide draws books into
faculty room. Also W ellford and Clary go to Washington to teach the President how to play "Squir- rel."
Feb. 25-Follett's car is seen smoking. ''Young man, you have IS demer- its!"
Feb. 26-Jo-Jo proves he is not Dra- cula by donating some blood.
Feb.28-Wesawthesun!
Mar. 1-19 days, 10,000 minutes, 45,-
689,456 seconds. Courtesy of Cue-
ball, Inc.
Mar. 3 -Holiday! Jackson, H., Ben-
nett, H., and Gathright in infirm-
ary. Tough luck, boys! ,
Mar. 4-The eternal question: "Wal-
ler, where's my dollar?"
Mar. 5-Gower gets that "feathery
feeling"-in a pillow fight.
Mar. 6-Fire at Reusen's and Messrs. Follett and Shaeffer save the burn-
ing chee-ild.
Mar. 30-Gathright's story is pretty
deep, but there are holes to prove
it.
April 8-"Skeeter" gets night study-
so
he
ng he p- g
e 0 IS
it
ly
e •e p
'Y
it-,
Samuel Nixon.
Parrott (Plump): It has just been dis-
covered what made him fat: Infla-
tion.
Mrs. Phelps: "Elizabeth, eat your food
so you will grow big and can make
your little girl eat hers."
Weaver (Wee-Wee): This is what was
overheard during one of his talka- tive nights: "I'm not going to- You heard me! I'm not going to be one-1 said I'm not going to be a cowboy-so hush!"
White, D. (Dopey): "My old man is a baker, but I'm no wise cracker."
White, R. (Greasy): "She's only a gravedigger's daughter but you should have seen her lower her bier."
Elephant Hunting
An original theme
by Garder D. Underhill, II
When I read a story or see a movie about elephant hunting, it makes me .augh. All the trouble they go to. They hire a lot of men. They carry 1orge elepha nt guns. They d ig big ,oles in the ground and cover them up with sticks so the elephant will fall '"· And most of the time they take only the tusks and leave the elephant there to rot.
All of that trouble and money and they take only the tusks! And when it sso easy to bring the elephant back alive. Why two people (I say only two 10 the hunter won't be lonesome) can bring back any number of elephants w;th ease. And bring 'em back alive. All you need is a pair of binoculars, a pair of tweezers, and some small
match boxes.
Then you go to Africa or some-
olace where elephants live. Go into the jungle until you see an elephant.
(Continued on poge II) THE METEOR
y e
,, iT1
Dust we two."
Nixon (Sampson): W e recommend
his latest novel, "Facts and Fiction" by
out. Eeeeeeeeeeee!
9