Page 13 - 1952 VES Meteor

Astronomical Calendar Spivak
Jan. 4 -Happi\y we return to our classy!
at the 3 -The
mid-winters-pretty C hinese birth theory
The Old Astrologer
"The Yankees are acoming!" cries the Old Astrologer as he jumps out of bed and grabs his squirrel rifle and telescope. He looks to the source of the barrage and finds that Admiral McQuail has sailed up the mighty James on the "Flying Possem" and is blasting the school with cherry bombs. A sneak counter-attack by the combined forces of Col. Bar- ton's Raiders and Mac's mob soon sinks the Admiral with a well placed fifteen demerits. The Admiral fl oats
back to Norfolk where he is honored by a toilet paper reception.
Relieved that it wasn't the Yan- kees, also a little disappointed, the star gazer soon has a cheery fire going in the fireplace. It is made up of old disca rded solid geometry books. To ignite the books he simply placed one of Carrington's hot love letters under the pile.
A lot has happened since the old fellow last looked at V.E.S. Santa has come and gone but there is still evidence of his having been here- those Christmas "meal" ties.
Scrooge McDowell has been fat- tening up the local birds in prepara- tion for the spring slaughter.
The Mid Winter's dance was de- clared a real "stomp" that couldn't be beat with a wavy weeping willow wand. Everyone was in great shape for the dance after a week's rest in the form of exams.
"Ju ngle J im" Wiley got tired of school and wanted to head for Salem, so he whipped off the beaten path and opened up the new Salem trail across a local resident's front ya rd. He blazed his trail for three feet and then sank in over the hub caps. I guess he will be hoofing it for awhile now .
After a very long debate Opie de- cides that he has the center of pop- ulation a little too far north.
Lynn tries to soak up some know- ledge by curling up in study hall for the night, but the mighty cry of "Hauncher, hauncher, hauncher" soon sends him stomping to his room.
Heyward and Miller returned from town a few nights ago to find that their room had been remodeled. The grapevine says that it was an in- side job, but John has his doubts. A revenge was carefullv olnnned for the following night. At the stroke
(Continued o n page 14, col. 3)
13
life of joy-hooppeeee! Feb.
Jan. 5-Les garcons are affection- of "Efits" Opie is rudely exploded by
ately cajoled out of vacation days by Dr. Scott Russell, the noted American the kindly administration of many de- obstetrician.
Don," Nails Feb. 4 - Heyward robs the super market and sets up shop in his lock-
Jan. 7 - Biair (no previous basket- noars !
ball expe rie nce) Farinholt takes unfair Feb. 6- Mole lets the air out of
advantage of the Varsity by scoring Mary Spence's car so that Roosa
21 points on-what makes Weepy can stay a little longer.
weep-huh? Feb. ? - " Haunch" g rabs "forty
Jan. 8-19-Lazy Reporter! Mad winks" in study hall and wakes- 2 Editor! minutes before t he "on-Dorm" bell
Jan. 2 0 - Heyward's heart leaps for to the "Hauncherian Chant" led by joy as he gets another "book" from "Gump," "Eyes" and Billy Thompson. his S. C. Belle! Feb. 8-Grey clad figures are cir-
Jan. 2 1 -The "Rabbi" keeps law cling the Field! Has the South risen and order in his exam period-except again?-NO!-(damnit) a closer look
for a few cries of "Gump" and "CEN- reveals only Barlow and his "Winter
SORED" (referring to Donald) and a t rack" followers- suckers!
few flying inkwells courtesy of Feb. 9-St. Paul flings one and "Mole." Hudgins and Heyward (and Ann
Jan. 2 2 -The well beloved Gu Type waiting for the late Bill) hardly pull Ru is back in his 02'** form with some through the day. McCurry a nd Wil-
merits from t he "dynamic and Jo Jo.
Jan. 6 -Bartol's cruel
ually returns his "Iii' boys" back to Feb.5-...Onlytolosealmosthis their usual form-as "cigarette and entire stock to " Excise Man" Bill whiskey and wile,' wile,' wimmin'" are Stokes and his gang! Head for the forgotten . .. But hills .?oys-here come the "Reve-
hand grad- er .. .
" call" trying
seniors find that the terrorist report to say abuut this, John? By the way of "Wild Bill's" History V *1802? Scottie who's the "midnight" VISI-
tremoustrance curves on the Trig test. son make an almost Jan. 23-Barlow!!! (This is by Bar- to a certain Pat.
low's request and only he knows what Feb. 10-W hat's
it means-mystery?) to do, cut in on the all famous lover Jan. 24-A certain select group of Paddock? •. . What will Nancy have
J an . 2 5 -The Doctor laughing glee- TOR ? fully throws SO's and 60's around by
the dozens-(nice man?)
'Tis a pity
you' re on
bounds!!
Jan. 26-Big fish fry and "stomp"
after those hellish English exams. BROWN-MORRISON
Jan. 27-"De boys" slowly begin to
recover from some more of those COMPANY, Inc.
"wile' wile' wimmin' "!
Jan.
PRINTERS- STATIONERS 718 Main Street
2 8 -The "Noo Sutor, Pleasants,
boys" (lucky
d ogs!)
make their arrivals.
a nd
Baldock
Jan. 29-The "pies" are taken for the " Bio-x-ray" in the Meteor but Farinholt says that Pat gets first choice of his-ain't love grand!?
Jan. 30-Big, bold, bluff Billy Me- Quail goes around with blood in his eyes just hoping to catch the dirty stinkin' rat that "squealed" on him-
Jan. 31-New counselors made- "congrats"!!!
Feb. \-Practice up your rhetoric
boy's-debates start today! Ed Hotchkiss, Campus Representative
Feb. 2-Bishops bow to the "Ti- gers" but are entertained by Charlie
THE METEOR
METEORITES
disastrous
Heyward