Page 6 - 1964 VES Meteor

THE OLD ASTROLOGER
You better believe that it took some doin' to get back here from there! Anyway I am back with another batch of corruption for you kiddies to read, mark, and inwardly digest.
The other day, while Spring was in the air, my cloud drifted down to the store and lo! What should my blood- shot eyes behold but a CLEAN store! This was almost too much for your old dad!
Not too long ago, the Quorum Club sent a delegation to Hot Springs, Virginia, under the eigh- teenth amendment. About I I:00 Saturday night things started to be- come unbelievable. I had to clean my spyglass 325 times before I was ready to accept what I saw! Of the
I ,542,860 persons who went only eleven made it back to the fold . . . there was something said about a camel in a restaurant . . . some idiot lost the entire east wing of THE HOMESTEAD . . . another greedy soul stole all Mr. Dunham's "moun- tain" water and, as a consequence, DUNHAM'S MOTOR LODGE was forced to close . . . still another per- son made off with a 250 yard long ski tow ... if you think I found it hard to believe, you should have been there!!
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the "Old 160" a lmost became the "Old 160 minus one" as a blaze almost got
our not-yet-finished new dorm. The Headmaster is strongly suspected.
Word has also reached me to the effect that the village mission is about to expand ... Maybe they'll have conveyor belts for communion.
Abigail Beecher W yatt hasn't been idle either. Receiving a ship- ment of articles with "V.E.S." on them, he soon discovered that they sold faster than a barrel of Brigham Young fan club cards. You can pretty well say that expansion has been paid for by blood, sweat, tears, night- shirts, parkas, and tee shirts. (Reader should laugh at this point out of sheer courtesy).
Well, my wit is wearing thin and I'm being bombarded by baseballs, so ...
Love and kisses to all,
Your Old Dad.
'QUOTABLE QUOTES' Manning on civil rights: "Truly we
are faced with a difficult problem.' Forbes to Mr. Casey: "But sir,
just don't understand."
Sudduth, H ... "I can't help it~.
all the girls are snowed over me!!" Max to bounders: "Ever hear o·
The Mouse that Roared?"
Shanklin to authority: "Pieeeez?"
SERVICE PRINTING CO. Charles Layne
"81
Edito port on
oryani::c. Noc/..·y corner o is of sp, as a 7.<•11 tlzr 7.'CI') firld, a, factors ·
Desp' cism of at leas no oth
boast o the lon dance was for
great b that its title of four co is one t esteem its num ered f society. Place.
Locat Haven,
resident' a well ~ ing tee~ North ( room ho year 193 was con< inspecto a half a Mount novated the mef, signs of in the f<
and a n out. A been co an elabo structed end oft lowed b only the served.
The S~ are best
at the o than a ~ tween H
!%:&@¢&~*/**X"-?'!!
I04 9th Street
VI 5-3681
Boy! I'm so mad I could kill the weatherman! I ma.de the unforgivable mistake of looking at the U. S. weather map in- stead of Mr. Lee's. As a result, one night I'm sleeping on my cloud over the old 160, confident that the pres- sure centers would stay put, and the next morning I'm over Boise, Idaho!!!
GUM GRIPE
When it comes to girls,
I don't want you to think
I'm a professor of pessimistics.
I think girls are fine
If they're cuddly and soft,
And have all the vital statistics.
But one bad habit
That some girls have
Turns my thoughts away from romancing; When lights are down low,
And the music is soft,
6
THE METEOP
THE
She chews gum in my ear while we're dancing.
-by John Casto.
JUST PICTURE
Warm, wild cheerful places, Laughing, joking, familiar faces.
Soft, loving, tender hearts,
Crowds, drug stores, super-marts.
A fireplace, snowplows, icy streets, and sweaters, Beaches, lawn-mowers, double-headers.
The Sunday paper, Christmas trees, Easter candy, Beer, blankets, wet and sandy.
The "Late Show," pizza, chocolate shakes, Burning leaves, cardboard boxes and rakes.
Grease, oily wrenches, crack pistons, no choke, Crowded basements, loud music, love and smoke,
Phone numbers, homework, getting home late, The closet, your desk, the kitchen, the gate. Her smile, soft eyes, "Dear Johns," her crying.
Police cars, ambulances, pain and dying. These are the joys, the pains, the fears,
I've experienced; sum total, seventeen years.
- b y Pete Jorgensen.