Page 4 - 1985 VES Meteor

4
THE METEOR
DECEMBER 20, 1985
By Calhoun McMeekin, Chris HoweU ,
Kirk GiUeland
Santa Claus took a vacation this winter and left his duties to
the ever-popular Toolin' Trio. Here is a list from the VES com-
munity.
Christmas Presents for the
ven
Faculty :
• BKM
Dec. 19th - Jan. 6th -
??
Back to school
carton of Marlboro·~and a football team.
Jan. 17th- Trip to Snowshoe: Juniors & Seniors Jan. 31st - Ski weekend!!?
The Meteor is still in need uf more writers. If you aver~ stinks write articles and you will receive a grade; boostiq ye•r average.
eLync u
21100 C,,...,., Mountlln 110111, LJIIC......, V....... Z410Z
•Bob- aB.K.Mundydoll,a .wife. a lobotomy, and a pair of
light shoes.
• Garmey -
one pair of stilts. • Mac - grapefruit 45
• Mr. Lane- a giftcertificate to Chess King.
• Wood - speech therapy
• Leake - a date with Mar- tha V.
• Bailey - one schoolbus eR~>v.Eade- T.P.
• Daughterly - one comb and a real car
• John Baby Foster - one Levi's wa h-n ware leisure suit. •ACS - atriptoth Na
tiona! Zoo in D.C. to sef' brother
•
• •
•
Sing Sing and
e [J,qohn•· I•HJWaJI•r
1ster Ling Ling.
• B o B r a g g - a d a t e m y vrr.~ •
• • J . ( ; , u apirturPofv~nlPra "M1111' 1n •• ad ?fa mirmr
• i'.d Jlarr st tt - a .etnmK pair r,f gla es.
• Sm..dlyHarnson th anar·kbar.
tion of the promi t>d land
• K. Martin and M. Staunton - thP rest of th Miami Vir<•
wart!robe
• Mr.L•·ukP - anPwflpPriod
~;•·''nomir rlasa, and 11101P hfW ,
• Maxw1II Y••uf h.. mann.
•It••·• M11xw• II 11nd W•· 1 V1rv.•ma
ajobat • ' AI " IJandndg" - a hair
J ffHow
Chm Goodhart, Faurd
Dav1d John rv1n
Winn
(lJl
•Jy,JI~ llfl lttf'V .
a <'Qmpl•t• and n JCUill
Newa L•yout
l "'"
•ImIm• a•
e ( . Andnwa
In Ala ka nd a tlJpi
-·- ·---·-·- -----.
Dear Kermit,
I'm finding it very hard to stay
awake during supervised study hall. I refuse to drink cups of cof- fee. What should I do?
Signed,
Zzzzzz
Dear Zzzzz,
Yes, many people have this
problem. Since all good VES students finish their work in study hall, I assume you're fall- ing asleep because you have no work. Well, here's some hints to
keep your eyes from shutting: 1. Try to count how many times we've had cold cuts or steak- umms at the dining hall. 2. Im-
agine what it would be like if Dr. Ruth W estheimer was t he Head- mistress. What would she say in
chapel? 3. Think about how great sports would be if Calhoun McMeekin was the new Athletic Director for VES. 4 Picture Mr. Bailey in a Brooks Brothers out- fit, wearing a Gucci watch, and reading G.Q. 5. Try to think of a place where you might be able to
find a hat that fits F.A.G. Devise a bomb that will blow up River
Ridge Mall and all the lovely peo- ple in it. 7. Try to think of a good reason why the smoking tree
should be impeccably clean when its right next to a smelly garbage dumpster.
If none of these work for you I suggest you should try coffee anyway.
Signed, Kermit
Dear Kermit
I'm the head of a certain com-
mittee here at VES which has led me to have an awful ego problem. What can I do to solve this pro- blem?
Signed, Ignorant, Egotistical, Y ankee
Dear Yankee,
You really have no reason to
be so high on yourself. I mean really, anybody can play for B.K's football team and take karatt> in hi~ spare time. And
anyo11e t .r1 P"'~ up any one of thost• St. CaLh~>rinP' girls in GNlrgPtown. Farl' the facts pal, anyonp who rut thPir hair lik a
mPat hPad u ually i onl'. Do you rPally IJvl' in Boston'/ I don't think Ao. f'arP anot hf'r f11rt, you
Iiv1• InI'1t.fi••Id.Jut dnn't hoth rhuymgthi'Tf••ManroliN· t1on 10 you ran wor hip 1t
1hrr ' JU~Inotanythmgtowor 1p I hnp I hav h1·lp d you
•
.I
•C.Riley- alife
• Ga Benja - privacy
•R. Skaggs - a real girlfriend
• Bumble "Ninja Turlte" Bond. Apple Girling and Littl1·
Ricky Gayle - a phone book ann a new calling card number.
Hi
own SIZe
• C. Evans - THE rombina
•
• •
•