Page 76 - 1948 VES Meteor

Astronomical Calendar
Sept. 13-Big dogs arrive (namely counselors).
Sept. 14--New boys shown to their private suites (private, that is). Old boys with the same gripes.
Sept. 1 5 -"You are going to pour milk-see!!" says Peterson, an un- educated rat, to Will.
Sept. Ib-270 days till June 7th. Sept. 17-Bill Lynn tries to tuffen gym
floor with benzoine.
Sept. 18-Hal Jackson starts out ear-
ly to practice for the nudist colony by walking from the gym to Main in an abbreviated +-shirt.
Sept. 21-New marquee on water tank. Jo-Jo and Coo-Coo.
Sept. 21-Night chapel starts and boys on their way to get haloes. Keep off grass, with no signs.
Sept. 22-Meteor staff meeting; late already.
Sept. 22-Football scrimmage with Brookville. Jackson loses shirt. That boy sho' sheds clothes.
Sept. 23-Carty and Taylor open a lottery. Place your bets!
Sept. 24--Bob Lindsley tries to scare the termites out of the organ with heel taps.
Sept. 26-Ham-hock back!!!
Sept. 27-"Did you do it?" yells Maddux, as he tries to get in bed. Sept. 28-Rain like Heck, and I mean
it.
Sept. 29-Ballot box stuffed for G.
A. A. and Hop Committee elec-
tion.
Sept. 30-Lynchburging again.
Oct. !-September gone.
Oct. 2-Big dance. No girls. "Hello
fellow."
Oct. 3-"Let us pray." awf-awf-awf
bow-wow.
Oct. 4--Putney last in June to walk
and first in September. Holt tries for geek of the week and gets it with his hair-cut.
Oct. 5-Rain and football.
Oct. 6 - Meteor article in - late
agarn.
Oct. I1-New demerit track unveiled
by Mr. Follett. Just as long, but
safer.
ELECTRIK MAID BAKE SHOP
"The Best in Baked Products"
The Old Astrologer
Accompanied by an awful hang- over, the old astrologer carefully dusted off the cobwebs and dirt on the telescope. Slowly he utters a wist- ful sigh as he remembers his wonder- ful summer on Mars with Flash Gor- don. Then he lifts the old 'scope from its ancient case and tilts it skyward.
The first thing to meet his amazed eye is a face full of joy and happiness. It's one of the boys who is insanely (he must be!) happy to get back to school from a boring summer holiday. For three months he has had to en- dure those silly creatures called girls, and all that awful home-cooking. Ugh!! By raising the faithful lenses a few degrees, the old man can see a party of boys, led by the Robinson brothers, gaily unrolling the worn old demerit track. Then one and all take a few laps just to warm up. A few of the happier creatures venture to kiss the old bell tower. With shouts of glee, they listen to the first golden tolls from the beautiful bell. The gentlemen just can't wait for night to come, so they can enjoy those beau- tiful innerspring mattresses.
Out on the football field a group of athletes (ha! ha!), in fine shape of course, cheerfully go through their exercises as Mr. Johnston cracks his twelve-foot bull whip. Mr. Galliford cracks a few of his witty (?) remarks as he has the boys do a hundred or so push-ups. The old astrologer, a rabid sports fan, notes with glee the aerial antics of hurling Hal Jackson, Rockefeller's step-son, from Williams- burg, Virginia. Also in there fight ing is Herman, V. E. S.'s two hundred and ? pound lineman. He's all every- thing. "Greasy" Finch complains that the uniform should be more colorful. It should be purple with yellow polka dots and zoot pants, he says. (Ah! These Carolina boys.)
Peering through the study hall win- dow, we see Hal Bennett slowly thumbing through W ebster's Diction- ary while Stephenson, John Thomas, and Wilbur discuss Einstein's theories and other assorted subjects of higher learning. Dawson is devouring the contents of his solid book. (Now, son, that is a joke.)
The only unhappy people around the campus seem to be the mailman and the teachers. The masters have to start sticking demerits again and the mailman nearly broke his back
People in the Public Eye
Frye (Bumps)-He is no big frier, •
since he sat on the radiator and went to sleep.
Mr. Gilliam (Captain)-He now has come out with his latest brain blow. Mechanized wa rfa re can be stopped by-" Detour."
Mr. Galliford (Galli-"Model T")-We now have it here, "A Burma shave- tail."
Harris (Tarzan)-ln his tropical aqua- rium he had two electric eels, but they wouldn't do what the book said because one was "AC " and
8
THE METEOR
METEORITES
P. (Pee
14-year-
the other a "Champion." Proctor (Suds)- "Gambles
mate."
bubble
W ee)-The
Braxton,
old, who said, "Back in '36 we real- ly had a blow in Hampton." (Ed.: A little blow now and we wouldn't have him.)
Wulf (Woof)-Just a cub out of the pack.
Beach (Whom-ba-hoo)-He tried to wind up where his hometown bud- dy, Clary, wound down until Dr. Barton stepped in.
Carty (Nature fellow)-"Variety is the spice of life, but some have more seasoning than others."
Mr. Banks (Jo B.)-He bought a new dark suit and put oil on his squeak- ing shoes, so he could hide in dark corners, but his illuminated tie- "Kiss me in the dark baby" gave him away.
Mr. Follett (S~erlock)-ls still trying to catch those four hoodlums, +he Pedro brothers, Shull and Von Duke.
Shirley (Why?)-His home town has
cha nged from Crozet to
"Buz-
zard's Roost."
Kender (Termite No. I)-He is trying
to become the son-in-law of the problem solver.
carrying letters to Bradley from that heartsick W aynesboro woman.
Suddenly the man's tube happens to face a mirror. With a scream of horror at the reflection, the old man takes the rosy lens off his telescope and quits drinking his pink lemonade, vintage of 1900. Still shaking from shock, he decides to enroll in the Daw- son, Stephenson Charm School. (They charmed Betty), and gave up star- gazing for a while. ·