Page 73 - 1955 VES Meteor

THE OLE ASTROLOGER
Well, kiddies, here I am again - back from the Happy Hunting Ground with my new Ivy League telescope.
The ole man is nearly drowned in a sudden deluge. A flood? No, after a second look he finds it's only El Rico shedding large carbonated tears over the departure of Scab and his cannon.
An immense cloud of dust is seen out on the athletic field. In the mid- dle of it is the 1955 edition of our Bishops, led by the fabulous, Tab Hunter. It is rumored that he will now autograph programs for his ardent fans.
The sound of machine guns and the orders of a maddened slave driver attract the Ole Astrologer's atten- tion, and he sees The Most Honor- able Chinese Communist Mogul, Gen- eral Mao Jeffress, leading his troops to victory over A. M. A. In the process he has shot down 16 enemy planes, parachuted from a burning plane, mowed down the entire A. M. A. team, destroyed a dozen or so Capitalist tanks, and upon his return, orders Jo-Jo into his stockade. Guru treacherously stabs the General with two demerits when he invades the dining room in full uniform, however.
The ole man wonders how long it'll be before Dillard is behind the wheel of Bell's new Century.
A mighty earthquake roars, and V. E. S. vibrates to its foundation. No, it's only Ross trembling over his Black Spot. They're getting to be quite the rage now. Too bad nobody backs them up. Wonder why the "Goons" never offer to liquidate any- body over 13 years old.
The first member of the Mighty Mite Fan Club arises at A. M. A. "Where's number 77 - Gosh, I like
pe< WATKINS-Little Stinky. this
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THE METEOR TH
METEORITES
him!" Mastin agrees wholeheartedly. Three boos for Beetle-the finest
mailman since Roe!
Three cheers for Captain Tab, Cap- tain Goatman, and Captain Cannon- ball.
An unearthly scream is heard issu- ing from the general direction of the kitchen. A look proves it to be Ma, finding Cowper again on the waiter's shift.
Cars washed free, Slurp, Slurp, yells Monberg as kool "Lunny" bites hook, line, and sinker.
The pictures of the Miller School game finally got here. King Farouk makes a hit by sitting on his rear, and Tab says, "Boy, I'm really good! That's why they put me on the front of the programs." Elam acts his part marvelously by staring holes through a sweet young thing come to buy a coke. Between reels, the General and Co. go to work on "Grunter," the people's choice.
McGee celebrates his first anniver- sary and Third Main East eats for a week. While we're on the subject the Ole Astrologer has spotted the fol- lowing loving couples here and there:
Wedge and Beth
Darden and Sal
Elam and "Cleopatra" "Stinky" and his "daddy-0" Woofter and "Cinderella" Dillard and Dillard
Rico and Liz
The Ole Astrologer and
August A. Busch
Well, guess I'll climb in my cash- mere convertible and be off for the land where church-keys grow on trees. Until next issue, don't burn anything out.
PEOPLE IN THE PUBLIC EYE
Bl
No
Hil Pe Pel An
I
(W
to
ing BYRUM-Big Stinky. me
McDONALD-Funny last year, but this year-"CLUNK."
PHILPOTT-Goes into a rage as Cowper is seen with his true love (Linda).
MR. FIELD-Congratulations to you and your bride.
CRANZ-Sis Bridges to Cross. ENGLISH CLASS-A new choir, but
~
yea per has the pas do~ mal
~
the same moldy jokes.
DILLARD-"Guess what, girls. I'm hen
Mo Tab Hunter" (Bull). 1n
HORTON-Hate that B. C. don SAYRES-"! wan~ to bop with the Har
tall one."-Quote a Lynchburg girl.
E. CARTER-After the fabulous red- headed wonder.
HATHAWAY-Seen floating down the Nile with Caesar.
ELAM-Wows local Reusens Cats. What a lover!!??
BELLS-Seen in a drag race on Riv- ermont.
BONNEY, BAILEY, D. CARTER - Thanks for coming to the Pep Rally.
JENKINS-Hi ... Bye!
The Same Old Food.
H. T. DAY-Going for the big bro-
ther award.
Congratulations to Mr. Barton as V WI
Club adviser.
Serg
A