Page 77 - 1946 VES Meteor

Through the Telescope
..
METEORITES
tears to the owner's eyes. If he could only get in touch with the Moon io command the services of its High Potentate Bailey, the nuts would be cracked and saved.
A terrific noise from overhead commands the Astrologer's attention as "Smiling Jack" Maddux, attempting to execute an aerial barrel roll smashes into the side of a mountain. Can he still make his trip to Ma- con? A problem involving such in- tense true love taxes the Astrologer's mind and he lapses again into sub- conciousness, mumbling, as he did prematurely two months ago as he fades away, "Merry Mercury and a Happy Light Y ear!"
December 3-Everyone is happy to learn that despite the coal strike - no shortage of "school" will be suffered.
December 5- " The Guru" sits on • the throne and tortures his subjects with evil talk of an approaching exam in Solid Geom. (commonly known as
"frustration V").
December 7 - There was a great
teacher of Poe-
Who demolished himself with a
blow ...
His name was Jo-Jo, his excuse is
below:
"On this day it neglected to snow."
People in the Public Eye
Akers, F. (Co-ord) Receiving "the shaft" from "Ducky." who has better prospects.
Baker (Dis) Showing his might in the Second West "Apartments."
Bailey (A for Atlas) Cracking wal- nuts in one hand and holding his wom- en in the other.
Bullington (Baldy) " All-City is just a start, boys. Next stop is certainly All-World."
Ballou (Ski) Getting "the shaft" from Fort Hill, after much cross-fire at Converse.
Cardwell (Tank) "Say, Cookie, let's ask Harman how to kiss a girl."
Caffery (Moo-Cow) Swearing that he isn't interested in women.
Dial (Mole) Burrowing his way down to the football field.
Heth (Lester) Returning from Thanksgiving with a brilliant nose.
Duffey (Goldy) "Gathright! Come here!"
Kerner (Nig) Minutely describing Kernersville's one stop light (three colors too).
Nut+, R. (Goose) Acquiring the "gig" from Holton Arms, as usual.
Nut+, W . (Buck) Breaking the hearts of the "wild women" of Greensboro.
Page, (P. P.) Crying in his beer be- cause he isn't striking, too.
Pancoast (Tex) The envy of all, hav- ing never been in the clutches of a woman.
Pollard (Smokes) Slowly but surely learning the rules, concerning the weed, that is!
Stephenson, W. (Whiz) "Well, boys, it's really not too hard to make All-City."
Zander (Foo) Trying to get his name in "The Meteor."
', ~•
By the Old Astrologer
The smell of Christmas in a punch bowl arouses the Astrologer from his deep sleep. Wearily he pokes his lengthy telescope into the night. Sud- denly he reels backwards as a terrific flash descends across his lens. The comet disappears into the night. After several hours of constant deliberation and course plotting the phenomenon is identified - Old Santa Claus on a trial run. The tele- scope swings into a horizontal posi- tion, not because the Astrologer is interested in this troubled planet but because, as usual, his arms are tired. Once again he peers into the lower extremity of the 'scope. Red, all he sees is red, nice pretty red. He thinks analytically, "Must be focused on a stop light .. " But no alternate green appears. Little does he know, and it's best he doesn't, for he'd faint if he did, that he's seeing the V-Ciub goats being slaughtered on the Guru's chest and offered in sacrifice to Bacchus.
Upon his observance of this, the Ast rologer's blood begins to circu- late a little. Putting his portable life- boat (an absolute necessity in Vir- ginia) in his corner pocket and abandoning the telescope, he leaves the planetarium for a stroll around the garden. The opium plants have withered away in t he winter wind and all the tobacco stalks have been made into pogo sticks sold exclusively to Colonel Follett to aid in executing the YES jump, which the Boy Scouts have made popular in the more elite circles. The walnuts lie rotting on the g round and the wasteful sight brings
* T o t h e E d . - M e r r y Christm~s. o n d where's my monthly p~y check? - The Astrologer.
THE METEOR
9
-'
Astronomical Calendar
of
November 6- The latest addition to our group arrives-Marshall M. Milton, Jr., weighing in at 8 lbs., 9 ounces.
November ?- "Gargles" explains valence to the chemistry class, paus- ing now and then to spray his throat.
November 11- " 0 id Soldiers Day" - and our ex-service friends realize again that "the war is over."
November I?-Kerner (from Ker- nersville) decides that these city folks are too slick for him, and that modern conveniences such as cars and flush- ing comodes are strictly Buck Rogers 25th Century.
November 20-Dr. Barton dons a football helmet and eats with the waiters.
November 23 - The old smoke screen converges on the area be- tween buildings when football pledge is lifted.
November 27-The first trip to town in what seems like a long time for many of us, with the White House
Restau rant as the center of attrac- tion, where many of our bret hren strain for a 21-year-old appearance.
November 28-Grimes (Duck II) Thomas spends a silent Thanksgiving, quietly thankful for the timely arrival of his smoking permission.
November 30-A car full of town girls is ignored, while everyone hears the Army-Navy game-as well as the even more important Virginia-Caro- lina fight.
November 2 - First week-end
the year is enjoyed by members of the football team who have no game. We hear that a big time is enjoyed by all.